I’ve had five color analyses. Two in person and three online. At the time, that felt completely reasonable for a few different reasons.

One major reason is that color analysis is presented as artistic. It’s about light, value, undertone, and harmony. It sounds both technical and creative.

My dad is like that. He’s a retired engineer, but has always painted and drawn. He went from oil painting when I was a baby, to matte pencils during my adolescence, and now he’s fully digital. I’ve always admired that combination of precision and art in the same person.

I felt I leaned more analytical. I thought color might be an area where I lacked instinct, so I felt comfortable outsourcing that to an “expert.”

What I never did was a full style consultation or essence readings.

I could never bring myself to ask someone to tell me who I am.

Something in me resisted that immediately.

Color felt like receiving neutral information.

Essence readings felt like receiving an identity.

Delegating my identity to someone else, even in a playful or aesthetic context, felt like crossing a line.

Looking back, I can see the distinction more clearly. Color analysis appealed to my desire for order and coherence (and maybe my insecurity about not being creative enough).

Essence readings required narrative agreement. They ask you to buy into a story about yourself.

Even at my most confused, I knew I didn’t want someone else defining my internal structure.

Which, in hindsight, is probably why none of the systems fully stuck with me.